The Speed of Sound
by Septimus Butters
Summary: Sam, Dean and Cas are on the road again. But they all know too well that they cannot run forever...
1. Chapter 1

Dean thundered home from the chemist, bursting through the door and into his budget hotel room, where Sam and the Widest Angle, Castiel, were snoring louder than a freight train whooshing across the plains.

"Oi! Wake up!" Deen screeched, dumping his groceries, pickled fish, prawn toast, a tub of crème and seven bagels.

Cas mowed in his sleep. "No… five more minutes!"

Dane moved over to the porker. "Get your wide ass up this istant!"

Cas reared as Diana jabbed him in the nose.

"Get out of here, Dean!" Sam chunter as he rouse himself.

"Get out of here yourself." Dean crowed, kicking Sam's matress with gusto. The tame moose tumbled onto the unforgiving floor with the grace of King Henry the Eighth.

Sam roared unhappily. He was wearing nought but a cheerleaders skirt.

"I come baring gifts!" Dean squawked, wafting the pickled fish at the uninterested goons.

"Neigh." Says Cas.

"FINE!" Screamed Dean. "We'll have to do this the hard way!" Reaching into his pocket, the sly man pulled out a huge box of fireworks and set them off with a bang, sending sparks and colourful flames flying into the room.

"ARGH!" Stan roared as a Catherine Wheel burned his eye out.

Meanwhile, Cas grabbed Yellow Pages and held it over his chubby face as a human shield.

"Alright, alright! We'll get up!" croaked the poor Sam, who was one eye short.

"Good!" Drew hollored. "Now we can go to SeaWorld."

"SEAWORLD?" whine Case. "I hate fish."

"You will learn to love them!" Dome screamed as he beat the ungrateful angel as hard as he could with his ham-fists.

"But Dean, we're poor as the rocks. How can we afford admission?" Sam quizzed.

"Who CARES?" Deen screeched, stuffing a pickled herring into Sam's mouth. "Eat your breakfast! Gotta feed you up, you runt."

"What about me?" Cas gurned, hungry for Dean's love.

"ur too fat already, mate." Dean cackled, tucking into all seven bagels. "Times short, make haste!"

With a cacophony of whines and grunts, the unwashed trio made it to the impala, which was Dean's car, and his only friend.

"We shuld take Spam to the hospital!" Cas suggested.

"hospital schmospital! Aint got time for that!" Dean roared, putting the pedal to the metal.

As tunes came blastin' from the stereo, Cas reached across to the back seat and grabbed a box of dough that he had hidden for himself. As he munched on the dough, Deen took the opportunity to perpertrate his brother, Eric.

"Yo, Sam! You know who needs a step-ladder to reach the toilet?!" Ernie brayed, looking pointedly at Sam.

"Shut up, Doom." Sam gruffed, insincere about his height.

"Oi shut up!" Carrie roared from the back seat, trying to listen to music on his phone.

"Why are you stuffing your chops with custard?" Bill (Dean) sneered.

Crufts rolled his eyes, chuntering with embarrassment. "'s DOUGH!" he garbled.

"I want a bit of that salami." Sam said idiotically.

"It's DOUGH!" Ray snapped. "Cory just told us that!"

Cray nodded, grinning with his mouth full. "MMMMM." He said rudely. "None for you, Shin!"

Sam felt tears fill his solitary optical. "But…but…I don't even LIKE pickled fish!"

"Omega three will make you big and strong. Well, I hope so." Daffy said, patting Sasha on his greasy mullet.

"I hate you guys!" Shona grizzled, turning awhey.

Cad and Drone cackled together at Sam's expense, sharing the doh! Between themselves.

Sim, whose tears were plentiful enough to fill Cad's trousers, had had enough.

"STOP THE CAR!" he rored.

"NOE! I DO WHAT I WANT!" Deep droned, prodding Shame. "I'm the oldest."

"it's a big old world out there. You could get lost." Chloe said patronisingly.

"You just stop right there!" Saddam crooned, Z-snapping with the sass of a loin of cod fresh from the fishmongers. "I'm not taking your antics anymore!" The beefy assailant clambered out of the Impala, (Dean's car) and onto the grazz verge. Unfortunately, the Impala was racing down the freeway, at the speed of sound, and Sharon's body rolled down the road with great force.

"Oh no!" Chris wailed. "He's a goner!"

"Agreed." Dhairy chuffed.

The pear looked out the rearveiw mirror, seeing the body of their brother and best friend, Barry Manilow (Sam) on the road. His once proud big-game body was spattered across the M1, a horrible, horrible sight.

"Eugh." Don spat. "Let's go to the aquarium. He'll catch up with us, if he's alive."

He gunned the accelerator, and sang along to his jams all the way, whilst Cars quietly sobbed for the loss of Sam in the back.

"HIGHWHEY TO HAWAII! HIGH-BROW TO STOKE!" Drake 'sang', playing airguitar while driving. He spotted a bison chewing on the plains and called out

"HEY SAM! HEEY!"

Then cracked up laughing, an immoral loser to the end.

"hey, I know." Cas rumped, leaning towards Dean. Dean thought he had just overbalanced and so paid little mind.

"HEY. We should make the moste of are freedom…" Caz leered. "Lets stop over at the 'Adult Pit Stop'"

"Gud plan, I'm starving!" Thane grunted, unaware of the widest angles saucy plans.

Cone narrowed his yeux, rubbing his claws together with a sound like a power-sander. He was ready.

Darren leapt out of the Chevy Impala and ran into the 'Adult Pit Stop.'

Meanwhile, Cas was struggling to get out of his seat, and cursing the convenience food industry with every bone in his 9000lb body.

"Chile con carny for me!" Dead grinned. The 'waitress' looked at him concernedly. "What? You don't have it on the menu?" Dunker was outraged.

Suddenly, Camel burst through the door, gasping and slick with body oil. "Dovey! No need to be cross!" He winced at the in-store hooker. "One luxury room, if you please!"

The woman licked her loam. "Very well, Boys."

She lead the horny pair into a fine room, filled with erotic cushions and bowls of salad. 'Bhangra Beats" was playing on a tiny CD player on the floor.

"Classy!" Crotch sneered. "This will be perfect!"

"Where's the chow?" Dhuffy quizzed, scratching his head.

"Chow?" The woman of the night rasped.

"Some privacy, please!" Carol winked, ushering her out of the tomb.

"Hey, Cash-n-go. Why aren't we getting dinner?" Dame huffed, squaring his shoulders for a price.

"There are more important things in this life than your fat-arse tummy." Carl spat seductively, removing his oily trenchcoat, which was coated in small flies.

"Cash-n-go?" Dean queried, shrugging. "Why are u taking off your coat?"

"I want yew." Carlson rasped, hissing like a barracuda in a barrel. Underneath his filthy and unfashionable coat, he was wearing a string vest and a belly top which said 'Angel' in diamante studs. He was also wearing Pineapple Dance studio jogging bottoms.

"Hey, hey baby. I want to know if you'll be my girl." Cas-the-elk winked, shamelessly ripping off an ancient ballad.

"But Quail… I don't know if im ready. I wanted to save myself for my wedding." Darn said sheepishly, laying his butt off.

Crasy grunted. "Don't know about that." He waffled. "No eres un hombre honesto."

"Quit speaking Italian!" Dill snapped.

"Listen, Chovery. I know you have your doubts, but I love fat people!"

Dopey's eyes lit up. "Oh, Cardashian! I knew you were trouble when ya walked in, but I just can't say no to you!"

"Scone!" thought Cody. He said out load: "I love you too."

Debbie ripped his denim dungarees off, revealing a perfect tanned chest and thigh-sculpting jodhpurs.

"How flattering!" Cas sneered. Deam winked at him. Cas felt ripe with poisson.

"Let's do it." The King Kong of Kansas honked at a thousand decibels.

Crystal smooched Din's toothy bosom, and the angry farmer was more than happy to seize some ethereal liverwurst and watch Congo gurn with pleasure.

"One moment!" Dappy gasped. "I want to say a prayer for Samuel."

"Can't it weight?" Crust groaned, fanning his loins.

"No, sorry." Drab went to stand by the window and gazed up into the starry night, each star like a frozen cat in the sky.

"Alright, um… I…um…well, Spam. I don't really know what to say. Erm…" Drogas scratched his pits thoughtfully. "I guess I'm surree that you never got past five feet. But I'm mostly sorry that there was no food at this adult pit stop, which I thought was a restaurant. Please, god, send me some snacks or something, I'm starving! Aardvark."

Cache coughed loudly to interrupt the praying of his chubby compadre.

"Get over here, Buzz!" he screeched, clanging his legs together. "It's time to ride!"

"Calm your tits, Old major!" Dunce coronayed. "I'm COMING. Yeesh."

"YES!" Castanet guffed with anticipation. "FINALLY GETTING LAID!"

"Huh?"

"Surree, I mean… Take all the time you need, Princess of Kansas!" Curd batted his eyelashes unconvincingly.

"Here I come!" scorned Dongo, limbering up. "Be warned, I'm a pro."

"I knew it!" Chuffy droned. "Get over here and show me the way of the warrior!"

"Hi-ya!" screeched Owen, doing a flying-kick onto the bed and smashing several tureens of curry in the process.

"OH!" Coulson boomed. "NOW! NOW! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!"

"Calm your arse, greedy!" Dumper sassed. "Just relax!"

He pulled the covers over them, standing up to reach over Cax's considerable estomago. "Now… let's get ready…"

"I bloody love crisps!" Ctta-Ctta shouted randomly, clamping his mouton on Freddie's own trash-hole.

"mmm-mmmmm…" Dot whinnied, pleased to have found pleasure.

Suddenly, Crouton's jazzy buttocks were prized apart by the rootin'-tootin' pioneer, Dean Wincho.

"What are you doing?" he gasped.

"NOTHING MUCH." Boomed Psyduck, spanking himself.

Gary Oldman (Cas) rolled over, shaking the entire car park. "Hay!" sang Dry, as his stigmata was crushed by Camera's bulging thighs.

"Suree! Suree, moat!" Carp apologised lots and lots. Dank prised himself away, before attacking Cape-Horn's 'excalibur' with his gob.

"WAHEEEEEEEEEEEY!" belo Cobert, writhing with eel-ation.

"Self-fellatio!" wailed Deft, seizing his own 'lance'.

"What about me?" Whined Caramelo, once again in second-place to Duct's own selfishness.

"Get a room!" Frodo yodelled, with difficulty. Cashmoto roared with anger, outraged.

"IS MY FORM NOT PLEASING!?" Canned-Stew wailed, in the grip of an existential crisis.

"Um…not really?" Drain hazarded.

"BUT I'M BEAUTIFUL!" Callow seized his own stomach and cradled it in his arms. "I'M AN ANGEL OF THE LORD."

"Yeah, whatever. I don't really believe you, so…" Donkey-Kong rolled over, flashing his buns at his ex-lover and guardian angel.

Odin (Cas) berst forth. "I love you!"

Suddenly, in the depths of his black sole, Aaron felt his heart beat to the beat of the drum. "I… I love you too!" he rasped, as though he was feeling it for the first time.

"Aw, grate!" Bernie cried. "so NOW can we have sex?"

Lois Lane (Benny*) licked his gums. "Pump up the jam!" he broached. "I'll take you to meet your maker, bub!"

K'nuckles chawed hungriliy. "Sheath your sword!"

"Yeah, OK." Abraham agreed, pushing his "wizard" into a bag of crisps.

"I bloody love crisps!" Coot mowed against the tide.

"Uh…huh…" Donna gasped, pusing himself into the "royal barge."

Cas seized Dache's buttocks as he coursed within his hind. After a few seconds of passionate frotting, the couple fell apart as Dante peaked.

"EGAD!" screeched D'hairy, throwing his moobs towards the skylight.

"_Cock a doodle doo._" Said Crayfish suggestively. "Mohammed has reached the mountain."

Teen-Derp collapsed into the mountain of new pillows that lay on the bed.

Together at last, the sun set on the King Kong of Kansas and Cash-n-Go, intertwined forever in their hearts.

*Read: '#Crowley.'**

**(Dean)


	2. Chapter 2

The road was empty, save a few groaning lorries that passed every few minutes, accompanied by industrial odours like diesel and old sprouts. It was a perfectly normal Friday night, close to midnight, and the road looked the same as it always did at this time of the week.

Apart from one thing.

In the hard shoulder, by some scrubbly trees, a badger snuffled at something uncanny. The unappealing scent of non-brand sun-cream and decay flooded its nostrils and the beast fled in terror as it realised what it was sniffing.

It was then that it became clear that the pink, fuzzy mound that the badger had mistaken for a compost pile was in fact a human carcass.

The carcass of Sam Winchester.

Except he wasn't quite a carcass just yet. There was a terrible mow of doom and a flash of lite. Ravens berst into flight and new life coursed through the dismembered, hairy gams of Sam Winchester.

San opened his eyes.

"What the hey?" He cray, gazing down at his skip-sized manos, which had been lying half a mile away down the A1 only a few seconds before.

"How did this happen?" he chuntered to himself, prodding his corpus. "I was a goner for shure!"

There was a wheeze of lolling from the ether, which Sam heard with his hearing aid.

"Hu's there?" he whined. No-one answered, unsurprisingly; Sam looked like an old takeaway that had been briefly buried and then possessed, and then had fallen into the sewage works in human form. He smelled like one too, but that was just the rank eau de cologne that Dean had given him for xmas.

Sam stood up to his full height, a monstrous 25 feet. "Born to be wiled." He murmured, and the desert wind gusted through his fowl and greasy mane, blowing the scent of the impala into Sam's moose-tastic nostrils. He followed the scent.

The hunt had begun.

Meanwhile, the Chevy Impala, Dean Winchester's car, was parked round the back of a seedy club in Viva Las Vegas. There was a regurgitated Tikka Masala on the back seat, from when Cas had got motion sickness at the drive thru. There was also many used condoms and joyful Polaroid's of fruit littering the floor due to Dean and Cas's new relationship.

However, Deen and Cas themselves were not inside the Impala. They were inside the seedy club behind which the chevy was parked. The truth was, they were working there.

Inside the club, which was called "Angelz", the Widest Angle, Castiel, struggled into a tight kimono as the manager boomed at him.

"Get your chunky ass ready, pronto! You'd better perform better than last night or you'll be here until you die."

Cad's eyes filled with tears. "It's not my fault! If you'd just accepted that we had no money when we stayed here the first night, you wouldn't have to manage us!"

The manager beat Carmen's buns with his bludgeon, which he carry at ALL TIMES to keep his employees in line.

"Sorry, Sir!" Cargo huffed.

Dean came bumbling out of the changing cubicle, eating a chow-mein. "Howdy, Cash-n-Go!" he blarfed, waving his chopsticks like a bank manager on his lunch break.

"Oi, Kong! You aren't a ruddy bank manager! This isn't your lunch break!" the manager roared, snatching the Chinese food from Deon's pudgy hands.

"Ugh. FINE." Dime tried to put his hands in his pockets, but his daisy-dukes were too tight. With these, he was wearing galoshes and a snap back. He looked like a sassy mare on heat, while Castiel looked like a blushing pig in a wedding dress.

"You're on in five. And try not to PEE YOUR PANTS, WINCHESTER! We don't want people to slip in your urine like yesterday."

"Sorry, Sir."

"That only happened because you wouldn't let us have a bathroom break!" Camp grumbled, defending his One Heart to the end.

"Stop having a temper tantrum! You table dancers are all a load of hussy divas! I don't know why I bother!" the manager ranted, aiming a kick at Dunk's crotch. "Now get out there!"

The sweaty betties rambled onstage to face the jeering crowds. An apple core sailed past Cas' ear.

"GET OFF!"

"YOU AINT FOOLING ANYONE!"

Belatedly, the announcer said 'And now, coming to you straight from the Moulin Rouge, the King Kong of Kansas and her beau, Cash-n-GO!"

Roars came from the grim and stinky crowd, and a giant slushy rained down upon the stage, where Cas and Dean began to awkwardly do the Macarena. Dome regretted snoozing through their dance lessons, having been so exhausted from his nights 'activities' with the Widest Angel. Cas regretted eating a disgusting hot-pot from a dodgy salesperson in the junkyard behind the club prior to beginning the nights work.

As Casey's stomach rumbled so loudly the crowd could hear his meal going down even over the "Sassy club mix" that was blaring out of the speakers, Dean was secretly enjoying flexing and grinding for a crew of bikers, despite the food they were flinging at him and their violent swearing.

"Care for a private dance, honey?" Dewey gurgled, pumping his caboose to the beat of the drums as he was pelted with fried eggs and currants.

"Oi!" Cossette roared, struggling to get his breath back and desperate for a mint – he had forgotten to clean his teeth before going on stage in his rush to finish his dinner. "Dee- I mean, King Kong! Don't let the haters get you down!"

As Dariodhevil herd the inspirational song, he smiled with pride. "Yolo, I'm young, so I'll dance if I want." Derek flung his hippocampus to the Far East, as gongs sounded and mountain air filled his world.

"I'm having a great time!" Cho rasped as he gave his saucy dance 110% effort, really owning the night.

"Me too!" Suddenly, the grin was wiped from Doddery's face when he saw a new man about town.

"Cash-n-go – look who just came in!"

Chad saw the shadowy silhouette of one presumed dead slink into the tea-house. "Oh NO!" he gaped, olives tumbling to the floor.

Spam heaved his way through the gurning gente to the front row, where he spotted his own sibling, Dean, thrusting in a pair of micro shorts among a crowd of suspicious groupies. He was covered in what looked like a paella, and seemed to be having a don time. Next to him, Castiel shimmied in a silky dress with a tanned playboy bunny. Sam gagged with horror- what would his Dad say?

The inspirational last words of his late father echoed in his ears – "Be your own gym" he had said. "An old friend once told me that."

Sam scratched his antlers thoughtfully and made his way over to the buffet, which appeared to have been salvaged from a bin. He stuffed his gums, starving after his weeklong hike across the continental US. He then became aware of a large empty space around him. The crowd had given him a wide berth, due primarily to his stench and grimy appearance.

"I best take a shower." Sham thought out loud, and a few people cheered and clapped.

The bantam-est Winchester snuck backstage, knocking out the bouncer as he did so. In the changing rooms, he snuck into the bug infested showers and washed away the gunk from his travels.

Shocked by seeing his kin, Cash-n-go charge out the back of the stage and looked around wildly for the showers. He had never used them during his two weeks at Angelz club, so he had no idea where they were. Keen to see Smaug, Condor 'raced' back to the disco, seizing Durin and pulling him out into the corridor.

"Massimo, Sam is here and we need to find him!"

Reed shrugged. "He seemed ok to me. I hope he didn't go to seaworld without us. Anyway, I'm working right now! The runt can weight."

Gerard slapped the dippy muppet Duncan in the face. "Trevor! He's your BROTHER!"

Deen considered. "Alright. I'll show you where the showers are, you tramp."

Cassy beemed like a chef with merit and team free meal charged to the wet room, busting down the door with a jump-kick and a few blasts from Doon's rifle.

Sam brayed with terror, struggling to conceal his privates.

"Sammy!" Cas belo. "I'm so glad ur not dead!"

Hogan sprinted over to his brother. "You didn't go to SeaWorld, did you?"

Sag Aloo grinned with delite. "Of course not! I hate fish."

It was only then that the kind old wizard realised that his own brother and a supposed holy angel had left him for dead on the side of the M1.

"HEY!" Yes-man screamed. "You two gits abandoned me on the side of the road! I could have been dead! Thanks a lot, bros before hos and all that." He stared daggers at Evans.

McCabe adjusted his collar. "Well... you see, we thought you had passed away, so there was no point in getting ourselves killed trying to rescue a corpse." He explained.

"Alls well that ends well?" Cart-puller hazarded, shrugging.

Spoof scowled, but decided that the two goons had already punished themselves quite enough.

"Yeah, I guess." Shumacher sighed, putting his hands out.

"OH MY GOD, SAM. I NEVER WANTED TO SEE THAT!" Doe screamed, covering Cas' eyes. "COVER YOURSELF UP, MAN!"

"Sorry!" Shona flushed the colour of the beets that he had eaten at the buffet.

"Anyway, now you've decided to join us, you gotta take a look at my polaroids!" Drone cackled.

Summer Pudding grabbed a toalla from the rack of a nearby hooker. "Thanks mate."

The grunting posse rushed to the junkyard that Dream called his locker. The most elderly Winchester seized a handful of polaroids and flashed them at his unfortunate brother.

"Here's one of me and Cas and some fruit we stole from Walmart! And there's us at a club, me and some sassy ladies."

"There's Dean-bear in drag. If you look really closely you can see his knicker line!" Camo crowed, pointing at Dean's rear.

"Ugh, no thanks."

"There's Cas eating Tikka Masala! And there's Cas again throwing up! I think the tikka masala was off." He waved a fetching snap of the Widest Angel squatting on the floor of a public toilet.

"Wo!" Skag bellowed. "I don't want to see that. I can't believe you got it on without me!"

Darius Wong bit his butt. "Well, you went to SeaWorld without US, so..."

Superman didn't want to hear it. "I already told you, I didn't. But seeing as you two have forgotten about our 'all for one and one for all' slogan, I may as well just go back to being dead on the side of the road."

Saddened by his prose, Cundo grasped Saasaano's shoulder. "Listen, Tony. I know you think we don't care for you, which is true, but if it makes you feel any better, we could have a threesome, just to clear the air."

Sirius's face lit up. "Really? You would do that for me?"

Drarry blanched, but secretly checked Sauron out. He liked what he saw, because he loved big game.

"Ehhhhh, sure."

Then a gaggle of geese came squawking down the corridor and settled on all the surfaces.

"We should go somewhere more...privet." whispered Carl, glaring daggers at the fowl. "SOME people don't know the meaning of 'keep out!'"

The circus dwarves trundled out into the carpark, where the Impala (Dean's car) stood, its tyres coated in dung, its windscreen splattered with cake and toffee popcorn and cherry lube. Damien's heart, soul and pride swelled when he gazed at his babu.

"ur so beautiful." He mowed.

"Thanks!" Sherwood blushed and preened like a year nine in the lower school toilets at breaktime.

"Not you, you fat ugly moose! MY CAR. Duh." Dean scratched his daisy dukes and pressed the automatic unlocking button on the keys.

The car gave an unsavoury brupping sound and the door squelched as Cash-n-go wrenched it open. An empty can of red bull crashed onto the ground. The smell of foul gas erupted into the air.

"This car is disgusting." Smithy growled, wrinkling his node at the sight of a regurgitated curry coating the back seat.

"Get over yourself, princess. If you don't like it, stay out." Dean muttered, kicking a dead rat off the seat. This was a big mistake. The rat dislodged a cloud of moths which burst into Sam's face, revealing a soggy rice Krispie cake that was black with age.

"Home away from home!" Chunky smiled, licking his chops with joy.

"It reeks of orange juice back here!" Sack groaned, clambering into the back seat and gingerly trying to avoid contact with the various items of old food and used contraception that littered the entire car.

"Oh, yeah, that..." Dean chuntered, blushing slightly and casting a sidelong look at Crasy. "Don't ask."

Coomba blushed and snickered with pleasure.

"Can't we clean up BEFORE having a threesome?" Saggy asked, unhappy at the idea of laying in a biohazard.

"Absolutely NOT." Cog said firmly. "I want my fair share of the Windchesters and I want it NOW."

Drai pulled his shorts down. "Make sure Cap is in the middle. I don't want any funny business." He glared daggers at Seem.

"Oh, I don't mind!" wheezed Cordial, making a grab for Slum's muscular buns. The woodland quadruped neighed with shock.

"Ay ay ay! Que haces?" he roared. "Be careful, this biped is insured."

Dune-buggy snorted. "yeah, sure. Who in their right mind would insure that?"

"Shut up, Dean, no-one cares about your opinion." Sperm said huffily, bashing his ancient fossil of a brother on the knee.

"Well, mooses don't have an opinion to GIVE." Dim retorted, thrusting out his bosoms with the panache of Julius Caesar.

"Hey, ladies, calm down! I think you're both equally smexylicious, happy now?" Chugginton leered, gripping his hippy lovers against his moobs with a fatherly smile.

"EXCUSE ME?! I'm clearly hotter." Said Drake. The angelic au pear Cas ripped off his kimono with one hand and Sturgeon's towel with the other.

"Nice figure, Caliente." Dappy grasped at Chips paunch with a fetishist gleam in his opticals.

"Thank you!" sneered Chafer, gyrating with pride. "Now cut the jibber-jabber." He threw his heavenly bulk 3 feet into the air, his wings bursting out his back and smashing against the roof of the impala painfully. Curry didn't care. His pain meant nothing. All he cared about was getting it on with Scooby and Dooby.

"Get around the back!" Dugga-Dugga ordered, and Scaggio slid under Cas's buns to tackle him from the rear.

Crack tensed as Shamu forced his "scimitar" into his "halo", grunting with pleasure. Meanwhile, while She-wolf was thrusting against his vast caboose, Donkey had seized his "heavenly host" in his mouth and was slurping for all his worth. Caz grinned. He had rezally out done himself this time.

Suddenly, Scuzzy moaned lowdly. "UUUUGGGGHHHH. MORE!" Carma Cing was happy to oblige, oscillating his hips for the pleasure of the two brothers.

It seemed as though all was right and good, however, there was a problem. The sunflower oil that Cress had slathered himself with prior to their encounter was heating up, causing the affluent angle to become incredibly slippery. A few more powerful thrusts from Slag and he was an endangered species. In danger from sliding out of place and tumbling to the floor, dislodging himself from his prime position.

Fam butted against him again, and Gassy slipped free slick with the oil of death, his "loin cleaver" sliding out of Dumpy's mouth as he crashed to the floor.

"Hey!" he wailed, keen to get back in on the fun. However, the two winjester brothers seemed unaware of Caddie's untimely slide to annihilation, and continued their writhing and grunting as though nothing had happened.

"Oh, CANDODO!" Dr Dre screeched as the 'crème of civilisation' exploded from his 'Pachelbel's cannon'.

Sherbert gasped and mowed, grappling with his own dung, his roast-ham jams braced against the ceiling. The impala (the car which they were in which belonged to Dean) shook and wobbled as the three mooseketeers made love on the backseat.

Covered in the soup of Diablo's loins, Camarero hoisted his buns upwards. Shooter, who was taking his thyme, was still rolling around in the chaise next to him.

Oblivious to the fat lady singing, Capri-Son embraced D'Garvelle, and whimpered "Red, I feel my soul on fire! Grab my LOINS!"

Scurvey and Durvey were only too happy to oblige, and the minging minstrels soon imploded with the pleasure of their shared love, filling the air with the sound and smell of breeding season in the camel enclosure.

Exhausted after their antics, the gormless gang-bangers collapsed into a sweaty row, like sausages stewing in their own fat.

"Bazinga!" spewed Shloer, scratching his oversized nose. "That was fun!"

"Innit, tho?" cackled D'lectable, poking Crey-Baby's hairy gut. The angel belched thunderously, releasing the smell of expired omelettes. Dunk-Honk-Wang breathed deeply, his heart swelling with love. Next to him, his brother Si rolled over and 'died'.

"Looks like Scariossassy had a bit too much fun!" giggled OOLY EEL.

"Heheheh!" Ungy Tummy agreed, kissing his baby on the lips. "Now it's just us two!"

"huh. I liked having 'all my assets insured', if ya know what I mean." Crasho muttered, thinking about the extraordinary pleasure that the goggly goaty guys, Sam and Dee-Cee had provided him with.

"Well, my brother is tired. And I'm in love with you, not Stag!" Whippy-Dippy whined.

"What's wrong with him?" Cyrus demanded, furious at D'koko's shallow attitude. He was such a jerk, he always judged people on their weight.

"He's my BROTHER!" Dan shouted.

"Not a good raisin!" Chin-Chin-Chao growled, folding his arms. "You hate him because he has facial hair, just like you hate ME!" He burst into tears, strawberry milkshake gushing from his beady eyes and into his fuzzy goaty.

"CABBAGE!" Doo-doo shouted, "How can you even SAY that? Your my one heart, near far, wherever you are, to the end. I love your beard!"

Cugg's greasy heart melted like sludgy snow on the motorway and he embraced Deen. "Really?"

"Really really." Said Shrek, tipping his snapback in Curdle's direction. He picked up a blueberry day-glo condom and pinged it out the open window of the impala. Crap giggled at the comical genius that was his brow-friend.

Shit grumbled and grunted and guffed in canon, rolling over in 'death'. Calal frowned, insulted.

"I don't think 'frere jaques' over here is house-trained." He wheezed.

"Yeah, ikr? I tried to teach him to control his gas but he wouldn't listen. He just said 'my bowels, my rules' and kicked me in the shins!" DeeJay Drippy rodomontade, a tear running down his bewhiskered chins at the memory of that horrible, horrible day.

Crust held Dush in his arms, comforting him, and they opened the sunroof to look up at the stars. A seagull swooped over and dung splattered down on the face of the wayward monk SHAMANANA.

Dunk and Chunk cracked up, and Shank awoke to the sound of a new road for the Loamchesters and their Fallen Angel.


End file.
